Are you "hungry" for feedback? And are you ready to "eat" it when it's served to you?
Posted: Wed Jan 22, 2025 9:13 am
Performance feedback – a term that sounds very professional and elegant on paper, while in reality it often causes a “storm” of emotions, and is the cause of quite a few conflicts in the workplace. Without it, our own professional development is almost impossible, and yet there is no person who does not care to hear shortcomings in his or her work performance. Feedback is like food – sometimes we do not like the way it was cooked, the dishes it was served in, the restaurant we ate it in, or the waiter who brought it to us. Sometimes we will expect one type of dish, while on our plate we will find something completely different.
The Internet is full of articles and literature about different techniques for giving feedback, so let's focus today on how to receive quality feedback from another person, whether it's our superior, a colleague or an external client.
Why is it not easy for us to receive feedback?
The biggest obstacle in receiving feedback is usually our own ego. If we are to look according to some theoreticians of personality psychology, the ego is a part of our personality that functions according to kazakhstan whatsapp data one principle only, and that is the principle of pleasure. He wants to meet all kinds of needs that we have, and He wants to do it right now, regardless of the context of the situation we are in, and whether that satisfaction is acceptable at the moment or not. By satisfying these needs, we try to achieve an (often unattainable) state of psychophysical balance or equilibrium, which is why it is not surprising that the ego does not like absolutely anything that could throw us out of that balance - and negative feedback is exactly one of those factors.
There are people who simply have better or worse control of their ego and their own impulses. The latter have a harder time managing their own emotions, react less appropriately in social situations, and are subject to a greater number of factors that cause them daily stress. For this reason, other people's words addressed to them with the best intentions most often represent a threat to them. Feedback that is said for their good and long-term development - those same words actually represent an attack on themselves. Almost unbelievable! Unfortunately, our culture and way of doing business, the climate in which we live, as well as the objective fact of what profiles of people are in leadership positions today, do not contribute to this at all.
Let's dig a little deeper below the surface...
To make things less bleak, here's another explanation for this paradox. The human brain is simply programmed to remember negative situations more than positive ones. One study found that the intensity of negative emotions that occur when we lose $50 is, on average, greater than the intensity of positive emotions when we receive the same amount of money as a gift. Moreover, another study showed that employees in companies literally know how to break off relations with colleagues who constantly give them negative feedback, and often act in the same way in the private sphere of their lives.
The Internet is full of articles and literature about different techniques for giving feedback, so let's focus today on how to receive quality feedback from another person, whether it's our superior, a colleague or an external client.
Why is it not easy for us to receive feedback?
The biggest obstacle in receiving feedback is usually our own ego. If we are to look according to some theoreticians of personality psychology, the ego is a part of our personality that functions according to kazakhstan whatsapp data one principle only, and that is the principle of pleasure. He wants to meet all kinds of needs that we have, and He wants to do it right now, regardless of the context of the situation we are in, and whether that satisfaction is acceptable at the moment or not. By satisfying these needs, we try to achieve an (often unattainable) state of psychophysical balance or equilibrium, which is why it is not surprising that the ego does not like absolutely anything that could throw us out of that balance - and negative feedback is exactly one of those factors.
There are people who simply have better or worse control of their ego and their own impulses. The latter have a harder time managing their own emotions, react less appropriately in social situations, and are subject to a greater number of factors that cause them daily stress. For this reason, other people's words addressed to them with the best intentions most often represent a threat to them. Feedback that is said for their good and long-term development - those same words actually represent an attack on themselves. Almost unbelievable! Unfortunately, our culture and way of doing business, the climate in which we live, as well as the objective fact of what profiles of people are in leadership positions today, do not contribute to this at all.
Let's dig a little deeper below the surface...
To make things less bleak, here's another explanation for this paradox. The human brain is simply programmed to remember negative situations more than positive ones. One study found that the intensity of negative emotions that occur when we lose $50 is, on average, greater than the intensity of positive emotions when we receive the same amount of money as a gift. Moreover, another study showed that employees in companies literally know how to break off relations with colleagues who constantly give them negative feedback, and often act in the same way in the private sphere of their lives.